It's Art
by Finite Sledgehammer
Summary: Rukia draws Kon, Ichigo does not approve. Yet another cracky oneshot!


**It's Art**

Finite Sledgehammer

_Disclaimer: I dun own Bleach._

* * *

"I can't believe you forgot it." Ichigo sighed, padding across his room, Rukia hopping in the window behind him.

"Neither can I. I swore I grabbed it this morning." She growled. They entered the hall and split up, Ichigo heading downstairs to raid the fridge, Rukia back to the room she shared with Karin and Yuzu to look for her cell phone.

Ichigo thought forlornly of the wonderful lunch Yuzu had made him earlier as he shuffled into the kitchen. Kon was eating it… had eaten it over an hour ago. Damn hollow had to show up ten minutes before lunch. One hollow only took ten or fifteen minutes; three hollows meant the rest of the afternoon was basically shot. On top of that, Rukia had forgotten to grab her phone so they didn't know if or when another hollow would show up until it was practically on top of them.

"Well, at least _someone _ate it." He grumbled moodily, opening the fridge. Letting a lunch like that go to waste was almost a sin. Normally he wouldn't stuff Kon in his body for a fifteen minute hollow-bust, but he'd been missing a lot of classes lately and couldn't afford to miss any more – Kon, despite his hang-ups - took good notes.

Finding last nights leftovers, he chortled triumphantly and grabbed the Tupperware container. Rukias cell was resting behind it. Ichigo sighed as he picked it up.

"Oi! Rukia! I found it!" He called, kicking the refrigerator door closed. He sidled to the drawer with the chop-sticks, fished a pair out then popped the lid off the Tupperware. Rukia ran lightly down the stairs a few moments later.

"Where was it?" She asked, trotting into the kitchen.

"In the fridge behind the leftovers." Ichigo grunted, tossing her the phone.

She sighed, deftly snatched it out of the air. "Why would I leave it in there?"

"Mind must be going."

She rolled her eyes. "Hey… can I have some of that…?"

Ichigo quirked a brow. "No. If you hadn't forgotten your phone we wouldn't have missed lunch."

She planted her hands on her hips. "Three hollows in one afternoon is still three hollows, we would have missed lunch anyway."

He stared at her for a moment then sighed. He grabbed an extra pair of chopsticks, gestured to the kitchen table. Rukia grinned as he set the Tupperware down in the center of the table before plopping down opposite her. Five peaceful minutes passed as they contentedly stuffed their faces. Ichigo was just wondering how to explain the lack of leftovers to Yuzu when someone upstairs let out a painful yelp, which was very strange considering there wasn't anyone upstairs.

"That sounded like Kon." Rukia furrowed her brow and set her chopsticks down.

Ichigo scowled more than usual. "What's he doing here? It's barely two."

The answer stormed down the stairs a few moments later, still dripping wet, clutching a towel around his waist and grumbling under his breath. "I swear that hot water heater is out to get me… oh, you're back."

Ichigo stared at Kon for a moment, wondering why he was suddenly horrified. Oh yes, that little bit about Kon wandering around with nothing but a towel on with Rukia sitting across the table from him. "What the hell are you doing!"

Kon looked at him like he was insane. "You haven't noticed the hot water heater's been acting up? Nearly froze my, well your –"

"I know that!" Ichigo snapped, standing up. "I mean, why are you here?"

"Showering…" Kon said slowly, as if speaking to a small child.

"I can see that!" Ichigo ground his teeth together and attempted to curb his temper. "Why are you showering _now_? Shouldn't you be at school pretending to be me?"

"Well…" Kon sighed, "I _was_, but there was a small incident in chemistry, the results of which were rather gooey and potently stinky. Sensei thought it best that I come home for a shower and a change of clothes."

"Oh." Ichigo relaxed a fraction, then began to feel panic creep up his spine as Kon gave Rukia a rather curious look.

Ichigo didn't have the guts to turn around and see what Rukias expression was. "So… are you gonna mess with the hot water heater or not?"

"Just a minute." Kon grinned.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. _What's going on in that little brain of his?_ "At least put some clothes on."

"Never!" Kon declared, striking a pose… and dropping the towel.

Ichigo felt his jaw hit the floor as the towel did, started to dash over to cover… er… himself, when the sound that would be forever ingrained in his brain as the Worst Sound Ever reached his ears; a little "oh!" from Rukia, followed by a hastily turned page.

Against his better judgement, Ichigo slowly turned around. Oh, she was drawing all right; usually he could smell the markers from a mile away but she'd opted to use a pencil this time. Sensing his gaze, Rukia looked up, blinked innocently.

"What? We never get male models in art class."

Ichigo squeaked.

"Really! See!" She flipped back a few pages to show him a series of surprisingly good sketches of naked women in various poses. "It's kinda weird drawing nudes at first, but then you get used to it."

She flipped to the page she'd been drawing on previously. And there Kon, or rather, he was. Apparently, Rukia couldn't draw from her imagination to save her life… but she could draw what was in front of her quite well.

Ichigo hit the floor with a dull thud.

Rukia and Kon stared at him for a moment. Rukia worked her jaw around a little, in a bit of a quandary; she should really do something about this… Ah, what the hell, he'd probably only be out for a little while and she likely wouldn't have another opportunity like this again.

"Hey, Kon, could you lean casually against the counter?"

"Like this, Nee-san?"

"Perfect! Now, hold still…"

* * *

A/N: Wrote this a while ago but forgot about it, heh heh. This is loosely based on actual events and an episode of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. I'm currently attending art school and the majority of the models we work with are women. Frankly, it gets old after a while. Combine that with an episode of SG:C2C wherein Space Ghost is naked for some reason, throw in a stray thought of "Kon would so say that…" and voila! We have crackfic! XD


End file.
